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Soon off the press (on Jan 30, 2024) Emily Nagoski’s latest book will be released.
We are big fans of Nagoski’s work. In her previous book Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski explored the important but little-known factor of “arousal nonconcordance.” Nagoski disagrees with the common hypothesis that hormones and monogamy are the causes of low libido. Rather, she believes that desire (her preferred term for libido) can be changed by changing one’s context.
As noted in a New York Times article by Catherine Pearson published this week, her forthcoming book, Come Together: The Science (And Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections, opens with, “A decade ago, as the sex educator Emily Nagoski was researching and writing her first book, “Come as You Are” — a soon-to-be bestseller exploring the science of women’s sexuality — she and her husband stopped having sex.”
Wow! That’s an attention-getter!
Her honesty and vulnerability are refreshing in a world of experts and influencers many claiming to have all the answers.
As always, we’ll share some of our favorite excerpts from the article for those who don’t have time to read it. [There were many to choose from]. We’ll also offer a gift link at the bottom for those who want to read it all.
[Nagoski shares] “three secrets of partners with happy sex lives in the book’s introduction: 1. They are friends. 2. They prioritize sex. 3. They ignore outside opinions about what sex should look like and do what works for them.”
Much of what Nagoski preaches, she said, is a transformation of how most of us have been taught sex is supposed to work — that it is always pleasurable and easy. “Pleasure only happens under really specific circumstances, and the 21st-century, postindustrial world doesn’t naturally create those circumstances very often,”
But there are risks, Nagoski acknowledged, when couples start having conversations about what is not working in their sex lives. “None of us want to hurt our partner’s feelings,” she said.
We’ve recently updated our Lower Libido (HSDD) page if you want more on this topic.
